Thursday, December 01, 2005

How to have a bad day by 7:30 AM, a short outline by Robert Schultz:

6:55: Wake up, wake up children.

7:05: Wake up children again, be told by one(who is still lying in bed) that they are up. Yell at them and tell them being in bed precludes being "up" since you are technically "laying down" and not getting ready.

7:10: Get in shower to find your wife used most/all the hot water when she took a shower at 6:30

7:17: Go downstairs to find one kid who has removed his shoelaces and is now just going "slip his shoes on and off". Remind him of the 7 inches of snow on the ground and he needs his shoelaces to keep his shoes on his feet. Additionally remind him that his bus is scheduled to arrive in 8 minutes and he isnt leaving the house without his shoelaces in. Add expletives as you see fit.

7:20 Stop child from leaving the house with his shoelaces laced through 4 of the 20 of the 30 or so lace holes.

7:22 Stop child from leaving the house with 1 shoe laced

7:25 Child goes running for bus with 1.5 of his shoes laced. He missed the bus anyway.

7:26 Lecture child on the need for shoelaces for the 4th time today. Tell child you love him but your not going to make the other kids who you drop off at school, or yourself late because he decided to take his shoelaces out with 8 minutes until the bus arrival.

7:30 Call wife at work and instruct her to call the school and explain that our son wont be in today because he missed the bus and his father is refusing to take him to school to teach him a lesson, and to avoid 3 other people being late for their school and more importantly JOB.

7:35 Unhook coax cable from television meanwhile furthering lecture on not removing shoelaces at inopportune times. Be sure to point out the child's age is well above that when one develops common sense. (hes 12).

7:37 Remove computer power cables so they cannot be used until you get home from work at 5 PM tonight.

7:38 Instruct child he is being punished, He will not be going to school today. It is his fault he missed the bus. Reiterate that this better not happen again. And he is to watch no TV and play with no computers all day.

7:39 leave child crying and take the other children to school.

*** I should also mention that I would have taken him to school too except the damn place is a half hour away so that would put me arriving at work at 8:40 and the other kids at their nearby schools at that same time. And I dont think all 3 of us should make trouble for ourselves because he decided to take OUT HIS DAMN SHOELACES AT THE LAST MINUTE BEFORE THE BUS CAME!!!!

ARRRRRRG !!! GRRRRRRR!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGRRRRRR!

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home