Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I wish I wouldnt get so mad over stupid little things. I pray about it. I try hard to not get mad. Whats wrong with me? Why do I have to become so enraged? I cant think when Im like that. I dont like it.

Yesterday, I was making dinner. And granted I was operating on not enough sleep but its no excuse. I was making mac and cheese with the little hot dogs mixed in and some peas on the side. I had everything ready and was going to put the hot dogs in. I went to get them out of the fridge.

They arent in the fridge.

My wife froze them.

Well at that point I started growling. Because my dinner was ruined. By the time I had them thawed out the mac and cheese had congealed. And my hand hurt from punching the refrigerator. I had booted my space heater accross the room because I didnt like the way it was looking at me. And growl growl growl.

Its just that when things dont go the way I plan them I get ragingly mad. Seeing red, and wanting smash everything, if I only could smash the world I would at those points. Im just consumed with fury and hatred.

Whats wrong with me?

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