Who hasn't this happened to?

Robert Thinking: Boy I need to fart.
Robert's Body: PPPPPT
Robert Thinking:Hey! Thats not a fart!
Robert Thinking in Slight Panic:Put the brakes on that!!!!
-Robert Starts Heading for the Men's room-
Robert Thinking: Im not gonna make it.
Robert Arguing with Himself:You'll make it.
Robert's Body: Sorry Boss braking capacity has been met, we gotta let her go.
Robert Thinking:Goddamn it! I hope that doesn't stain.
Robert to the helpdesk:Um....yeah...I gotta run home real quick...Ill be right back.

The moral of the story is no more salad late at night for Robert.