Well today is stupid Canopenner day (again already huh?). So join me on the ride that is a carousel of the stupid things I have done.
As many of you probably know I grew up In a house where my father beat my mother on a regular basis.
It was midsummer, I was 10. I had some friends over, their names were Mike and Malory Maur, my parents were fighting (If you want to call it that). I had gone downstairs to politely ask them to stop since I had company over. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw my father leave the living room and pass into the dining room on his way to the kitchen. However my mother was nowhere in sight. I followed him as far as the doorway in the dining room. And yelled to him in the kitchen (Prolly about 30 feet away, as we had a big dining room), "Hey, where is Mom?"
To which he replied, "I killed her" and started to laugh, I presume at the look on my face. I had averted my eyes from him for a moment when I heard him say to me, "Hey Robert, Heads up" and then a big "splat" next to my head of something crashing into the dining room door frame.
He had thrown an apple at me, I assume not as hard as he could throw one but hard enough to shatter the thing in a spray of apple juice all over me and the dining room doorway. "comon' Dad, Where is Mom?" I asked again as he continue to pummel the doorway and the wall of the living room behind me with apples which he kept on throwing, "I told you, I killed her." he said again and kept right on throwing and chuckling.
At this point I had decided I had enough of his shenanigans and I was really worried he had killed my mother(I certainly wouldnt put it past him), so I retreated back to the upstairs...I tearily discussed with my friends what I should do about the entire situation. They decided they should leave (Which I agreed with) and that I should call the police. I agreed and made the call.
"Hello, Johnstown Police Department" The voice came over the wire.
"Hi, my name is Robert Schultz, My father is throwing apples at me and I cant find my mother, he says he killed her."
"What?!" The operator replied.
"MY NAME IS ROBERT SCHULTZ AND I CANT FIND MY MOTHER, I ASKED MY DAD WHERE SHE IS AND HE STARTED THROWING APPLES AT ME AND SAID HE KILLED HER!" I repeated.
"whats your address" She asked.
"334 Kennard St." I told her.
"We will send someone right over."
"thank you" I concluded.
At this point I opened the upstairs bathroom window and ushered my friends out onto the roof of the dining room. I convinced them to jump the 10 or so feet off the roof as I had done many times in my even younger youth. And they finally did and went home.
Then about 30 minutes later I heard the -Knock-Knock-Knock- on the door, I crept down the stairs and peaked through the bars on the handrail at the police at my front door and my father answering it.
He said a few words to them, produced my mother from the basement, where she had been doing laundry. And they turned around and left. The panic swelled within me. I know what was coming next.
I flew up the stairs to my bedroom and started barricading stuff in front of my door. My desk, the radiator cover, anything I could grab, I heard him coming up the stairs screaming obscenities.
I backed away from the door and tried to hide under my bed, From underneath it I saw the door fly open as the stuff I had put in front of it flew accross the room.
"YOU CANT HIDE FROM ME BOY!" He said as he stomped on my Gobot monster Zod Smashing it into smithereens. Damn I loved that thing too.
He pulled me out from under the bed by one leg, and proceeded to give me the second worst beating of my life. Screaming all the while that I had "betrayed him by calling the police", Im not sure how long that went on, I lost consciousness.
but that is another story of a stupid thing I did. Dont worry, I recovered from the beating.
As many of you probably know I grew up In a house where my father beat my mother on a regular basis.
It was midsummer, I was 10. I had some friends over, their names were Mike and Malory Maur, my parents were fighting (If you want to call it that). I had gone downstairs to politely ask them to stop since I had company over. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw my father leave the living room and pass into the dining room on his way to the kitchen. However my mother was nowhere in sight. I followed him as far as the doorway in the dining room. And yelled to him in the kitchen (Prolly about 30 feet away, as we had a big dining room), "Hey, where is Mom?"
To which he replied, "I killed her" and started to laugh, I presume at the look on my face. I had averted my eyes from him for a moment when I heard him say to me, "Hey Robert, Heads up" and then a big "splat" next to my head of something crashing into the dining room door frame.
He had thrown an apple at me, I assume not as hard as he could throw one but hard enough to shatter the thing in a spray of apple juice all over me and the dining room doorway. "comon' Dad, Where is Mom?" I asked again as he continue to pummel the doorway and the wall of the living room behind me with apples which he kept on throwing, "I told you, I killed her." he said again and kept right on throwing and chuckling.
At this point I had decided I had enough of his shenanigans and I was really worried he had killed my mother(I certainly wouldnt put it past him), so I retreated back to the upstairs...I tearily discussed with my friends what I should do about the entire situation. They decided they should leave (Which I agreed with) and that I should call the police. I agreed and made the call.
"Hello, Johnstown Police Department" The voice came over the wire.
"Hi, my name is Robert Schultz, My father is throwing apples at me and I cant find my mother, he says he killed her."
"What?!" The operator replied.
"MY NAME IS ROBERT SCHULTZ AND I CANT FIND MY MOTHER, I ASKED MY DAD WHERE SHE IS AND HE STARTED THROWING APPLES AT ME AND SAID HE KILLED HER!" I repeated.
"whats your address" She asked.
"334 Kennard St." I told her.
"We will send someone right over."
"thank you" I concluded.
At this point I opened the upstairs bathroom window and ushered my friends out onto the roof of the dining room. I convinced them to jump the 10 or so feet off the roof as I had done many times in my even younger youth. And they finally did and went home.
Then about 30 minutes later I heard the -Knock-Knock-Knock- on the door, I crept down the stairs and peaked through the bars on the handrail at the police at my front door and my father answering it.
He said a few words to them, produced my mother from the basement, where she had been doing laundry. And they turned around and left. The panic swelled within me. I know what was coming next.
I flew up the stairs to my bedroom and started barricading stuff in front of my door. My desk, the radiator cover, anything I could grab, I heard him coming up the stairs screaming obscenities.
I backed away from the door and tried to hide under my bed, From underneath it I saw the door fly open as the stuff I had put in front of it flew accross the room.
"YOU CANT HIDE FROM ME BOY!" He said as he stomped on my Gobot monster Zod Smashing it into smithereens. Damn I loved that thing too.
He pulled me out from under the bed by one leg, and proceeded to give me the second worst beating of my life. Screaming all the while that I had "betrayed him by calling the police", Im not sure how long that went on, I lost consciousness.
but that is another story of a stupid thing I did. Dont worry, I recovered from the beating.
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