Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Matrix Reloaded Review.

Was it just me or did I spend 2 hours at the theatre to learn that Smith (the late agent) could leave the matrix and that the machines were coming "to kick some zion ass"...the movie just seemed to lack other plot developing points. The machines seemed pitted against each other in some bizarre battle to keep humanity alive? Or are they? wait! they are?!? Who knows? where did that go? nowhere but to sell another movie ticket next november. oooooo the machines have allegedly destroyed and rebuilt the last human city six times over. Uh huh...whatever...

Find yourself wondering why they keep the humans around for a wipping boy? Your not gonna find out in this movie. Who are all the renegade programs and what are they up to(I am the gatekeeper,you are the keymaster? was that some kinda homage to ghostbusters?)beats me. What is the "system" up to? once again no answer.

And whats with all the huggy poo-kissy face? Correct me if Im wrong but isn't this the sequel to the movie in which you never even learn most of the characters "real" names? (excepting of course mr. thomas anderson). But for some reason Im subjected to seeing a bunch of half naked unwasheshed "Zionians" with jolly pirate nick names rub up against each other for at least 45 minutes of this waste of 7 dollars. Seriously I care about ex cast's lawsuits more than I do about how that tin can they use to jack into the matrix needs an operator. Or about trust issues between whats his face and morpheus? In the middle of the big trinity/neo love scene my friend leaned over and said, "I didn't think it would be this slow". My reply, "more like slow-mo." and that summed up the entire movie.

Just like I dont want to see the same stop action video effect ive seen mimmicked in a thousand movies since the original matirix another 100,000 times...It gets old. It was old 6 months after the original. It was even older when I saw it in a soda commercial. It was turning to dust when I bought my movie ticket this evening.

there is one really important question the film brought to my mind:

There are no blondes in Zion? tisk tisk....for shame.

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