Here we go again with another story of Canopenner stupidness.

I think it was the winter of 2002. There was a stray cat who kept coming around my back porch. Doing its business there. Pissing on my back porch and smelling the place up. I had been trying to run it off by chasing it and yelling at it for a few weeks. Nothing I had done had worked.

I had just come home from work. I was so sick of that stray cat that when I saw it on my steps meowing at me I decided enough was enough. I was going to kill that cat.

The cat was positioned perfectly on my concrete steps. On the very bottom one. I had the brilliant idea that I could could kick it and smash its little cat rib cage between my foot and the back of the step it was standing in front of.

I had the cat locked in my sights. It was still stupidly meowing at me. I wound up and swung. The cat was still there, my leg accelerated, I was kicking with all my might.

Then all of a sudden mid swing the cat was not there anymore. It had somehow teleported 2 feet to my right. But my foot was now whooshing at great speed towards the concrete step, I tried to pull out of the kick but it was too late.

I heard the sickening crunch of all the bones in my right big tow compressing. Crunch, crunch, crunch, they all broke. I started hopping around on my now "good foot" while clutching my bad one and howling in pain. I was limping around for about 2 months after that, and now that toe is about 1 inch shorter than the one on the other side. I never saw that cat again. But the price I paid to get rid of it was way too high.

So dont ever try to kick and smash stray cats standing on your back porch.