Me: What do your think of this band?
Cube-mate:Who is it?
Me:Less than jake.
Cube-mate: eh. I guess its not the worst.
Me: Like Guttermouth? You didn't like them.
Cube-mate:Yeah that was not good.
Me: Goldfinger?
Cube-mate: Who?
Me:MXPX?
Cube-mate:Never heard of them.
Me: Ten Foot Pole?
Cube-mate: Not familiar with them no.
Me: Me first and the Gimme Gimmies?
Cube-mate: um? who?
Me: Propaghandi?
Cube-mate: Nope
Me: Pennywise?
Cube-mate: Um...
Me: Diesel Boy?
Cube-mate: Whos that?
Me: Nerf Herder?
Cube Mate: I never heard of any of these people.
Me: Your so unhip.
Cube-mate: MAYBE YOU ARE!

Um. I didn't think so. But perhaps I am. Today Im going to try to get genesis(acd recording software) to work in XP with the 4.9 novell client. I wonder if anybody out there has any clue if 4.9 has known bugs?

Speak up, Speak up.

How many vice presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?

a. 1, he/she holds the lightbulb in the air and waits for the world to revolve around him/her.

b. Whats a lightbulb?

c. Call facilities!

So I was in a security meeting and...

Me: Yeah I had to turn my home network into IPX/SPX with only my own machine and the one in the living room running TCP/IP due to the fact I caught the 12 year old and the 14 year old surfing porn.

Network Analyst Manager:oh?

Me: Yeah so then I guess the kids were messing around with the networking and trying to get the internet back and now they have completely blown up the boxes to the point where I need to rebuild them this weekend. No matter what I do they are looking for domain controllers.

Network Analyst Manger: Do you have any servers?

Me: No, my GF is already about riot over the 6 PCs I have set up at home.

Network Analyst Manager: At least the kids are getting an education.

Me: Yeah.

A Network Analyst in the Meeting: Yeah, an education in porn.

Faust
-J.H. Revenge

Nothing that you say
will ever make me change,
nothing that you say
will bend me to behave,
because i have this thing
that you'll never know,
it's diamond hard
and keeps me from the thing
that makes me go.

There's a price that you pay
for doing what you want,
they try to keep you down
with everything they got.

Take their power!
Shove it up their ass.
"You think you can control my life
without me fighting back?!"

it's been so long
on this never ending con-
it's all a tragedy.

Consistently burned,
when will these tables turn?
it's in a strategy?

Believing in yourself
is the only thing you have,
an' nothing that you say
can make me give it back.

Mp3? (1.07MB)

My poor fish...

I feel so bad for him.

Not only do I habitually forget to change his water on time(Its alittle above half way now), but there is a layer of slime atop the water, I guess because I havent changed it for awhile.

I leave him unfed for sometimes 3 days when I leave town. He sits between 2 satallite speakers and next to the subwoofer on my desk. I have had the water almost completely empty. Bad me. Bad me. Bad me.

Im not worried about him dying because hes lived through much worse. If I had a chance Id breed him for tough offspring. He'll never have a chance to propagate. Its so unfair, and as far as Im concerned he deserves it for never dying on me.

:^(

I better go get water right now.

Well I have way to much to do today:

WinXP Rollout
Figure out why a bunch of sales people dont have rights to their display settings
My timesheet(Arguably most important)
Fix some other crapola

I made a little movie of the youngest child singing a song and acting goofy. (I sound like a retard laughing at her in the background.)

Its 33 seconds long and Divx so it shouldn't take you long to download at all.


Melissa Movie (2.2 mb)
Divx Codec

Its Friday, Im lazy, rolling out more windows xp-ness

Check out some free bay area punk rock:

Fat Wreck Chords

I WANT GMAIL

its true gmail is awesome.

End User: We have testing today and the machines need their clocks set back to 4/16.
Me: Huh? You cant do that because of the master time server.
End User: Well thats what the email says is supposed to happen.
Me: Email?
End User: Email.
Me: Nobody sent us any email.
End User: I can forward it to you.
Me: Sure, what time is your testing supposed to start?
End User: 9:30
Me: Its 10:02 now.
End User: Yeah.

So needless to say I checked the email, Nobody in my dept was copied in. I figured out a way to get around the master time server and another helpdesk person made the changes and logged in the testers.

You would think a big corporation would be alittle more co-ordinated. But the day was saved at the last minute.

I guess its not professional for me to tell a windows media player update dialog box to suck my wang. (according to the girl who sits in the cube next to me)

However, Ill also call that MS word paperclip guy a motherf*cker. Wait till she hears that.


Oh yeah and all you bloggers should be signing up for free gmail! (1GB of file storage!?!!? Can it be true!?!? Well it is!)

I got a promotion today! Now Im "Senior Helpdesk Specialist" Yay me!

Im really looking forward to only helping those of the end users who are approaching or have arrived in their golden years.

It takes a special finesse to handle people born before 1950 who are using computers.

Additionally I want to thank the academy, My friends and coworkers, God and of course my parents....

Nah, actually scratch my parents.

Harvard Institute of Politics: IOP Political Personality Test

Harvard Institute of Politics: IOP Political Personality Test

Im a secular centrist, what are you?

I know a place where birds build their nests of quarters!!!

Why are people such a bunch of idiots?

I had a most aggrivating drive to work this morning. As I was on my way to dropping the kids off at school I had to make a turn off 13th st. onto Norwood st. , I have no stop sign, no yeild sign, in fact there is no sign of any kind. Also theres the moron in question turning from norwood onto 13th, he does have a stop sign.

I signal and turn. Well appearently he thinks that people with stop signs have the right of way over those without. Because he starts yelling and honking his horn at me.

Where did this guy get his liscence?

Morons I tell you, morons.

Moved 36 associates today. Then went and ate a huge lunch courtesy of the company.

Now I think a nap would be good.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Nothing pisses me off more than an end user telling ME whats wrong with their goddamned PC.

See Im the professional getting paid to fix any and all broken computers on site. What are they being paid for? Retirement services.

You dont see me telling them they need to do the distribution to the 401b or anything like that.

It gets under my skin. Why cant they ever get the fact that the professional knows better than they do. Im not going to tell the arson inspector how the fire started. Im not going to tell the bouncer how the fight got started. Im not going to tell the custodian how to empty the trash can. Why do the end users think they can give me advice on fixing their PCs?

Come on people its not that difficult:
THE PEOPLE WHO DO SOMETHING ALL DAY EVERYDAY FOR A LIVING KNOW HOW TO DO IT BETTER THAN YOU! I dont care how many times you have reset your homepage, deleted your cookies or emptied your recent documents folder. You are not a professional, and you never will be. So let the professional do his stinking job!

Nothing interesting to report today. Just shoving WINXP to more people.

An associate of mine forgot to turn off offline file caching in WINXP heres the result when I fixed it last night. Good for a laugh.

Im kinda operating in a fog today.

:^(

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

What is with people? WHy do you Im someone out of nowhere just to fight with them?

Graveyard92: hey
canopenno: hey
Graveyard92: who is this again
canopenno: that one guy
Graveyard92: o ok
Graveyard92: seriously
canopenno: what do you want to know?
canopenno: 28/M/MN
canopenno: retired botmaster
canopenno: bored amatuer webdeveloper
Graveyard92: ur name
Graveyard92: fag
canopenno: robert
canopenno: LOL
canopenno: sticks and stones
Graveyard92: u r gay
canopenno: your wishing
Graveyard92: not really
Graveyard92: but nice try buddy
canopenno: whatever. I think your a bit hostile
canopenno: whats up with that
Graveyard92: ok well i think ur a bit queer
canopenno: see there you go again...thats not even rational
Graveyard92: so stop talking to me

an incredibly challenging chinese(?) logic game

Took me awhile to figure it out. But I was watching TV at the same time.

The Stations of the Cross

This is how I used to do it.

Back in the day.

I can still smell it.

I think every company in the world but mine is closed for business today.

I dont have monday off either.

-Big thumbs down-

Who hasn't this happened to?

Robert Thinking: Boy I need to fart.
Robert's Body: PPPPPT
Robert Thinking:Hey! Thats not a fart!
Robert Thinking in Slight Panic:Put the brakes on that!!!!
-Robert Starts Heading for the Men's room-
Robert Thinking: Im not gonna make it.
Robert Arguing with Himself:You'll make it.
Robert's Body: Sorry Boss braking capacity has been met, we gotta let her go.
Robert Thinking:Goddamn it! I hope that doesn't stain.
Robert to the helpdesk:Um....yeah...I gotta run home real quick...Ill be right back.

The moral of the story is no more salad late at night for Robert.

Oh yeah! I know youve all been waiting to see the bodies of the american contractors the iraqi resistance movement mutilated and drug through the streets.

Be advised this is pretty gross

Im equally impatient to see the military take some sort of action. (Maybe a daisy cutter would teach a fine lesson.)
I heard they were going to do something. But haven't heard what it was they were going to do. I think an overwhelming show of force would be appropriate, but Im sure that most people prolly dont agree with me. AKA my GF. She thinks that "killing innocents to avenge the innocent is just plain wrong". However I think that if we show that the deaths of american NON-SOLDIERS will be answered by citywide eratication then youd have alot less dead american civilians.

Maybe instead we should lock the whole country up in that cuban prison and throw away the key. Hey, it worked for Afghanistan.

Im sure Im going to get flamed in the comments but what the heck. I guess Im a war monger.

So Im in the employees mens bathroom at the NSC building. And Im taking a dump and some other guy comes into the bathroom.(I cant see who from the stall Im in.) And the guy goes to a urinal and takes a wizz. OK. Fine.

Then what does he do?

He goes strait from the urinal to the hand drying blower thingy.

Thats just foul. I mean Im fine with people not washing their hands after they wizz. Heck I even do it myself sometimes.

But if you get so much piss on your hands you need to dry them off before going back into general population, THEN YOU SHOULD AT LEAST RINSE.

Disgusting.

Birthday Presents

512 MB USB Flash Card
A Kite shaped like a jet plane
Bocce Ball Set
NOFX:45 or 46 songs that werent good enough to go on our other records
Nerf Herder: American Cheese
Frisbee
Light up pen
Comforter
3 Wood Puzzle things
400 Watt power supply
Spindle of kite string

The day off today as my present to myself. Although I told the children I would be doing bike repair today. And I need to upgrade my ant farm because I believe next weekend should be optimal to repopulate it.

:^)

Windows has updated your clock as a result of Daylight Savings Time. Please verify that your new clock settings are correct.

On the way down to the GF's mom's we ended up with her buddy's kids. 2 girls, one 14 the other 12. I swear to god they would not shut up for 2 minutes the entire 4 hour trip. Blah Blah yackidy yack yack. There was no end. I think Im going to have nightmares for weeks. The only tolerable moment in the whole drive was when I joined in a sing along of waiting for tonight.

:^P

Trip Map

Well tonight I leave for the GF's mom's house. Saturday is her 50th birthday so we are spending the weekend in New Ulm.(which I believe is a more metropolitan city than Brainerd.)

The downside is its also my 28th birthday on sunday. So I wont be home with all my gadgetry to play with on my birthday. There should be lots and lots of pictures taken tho, so I should be able to post alittle somethin somethin. GF's whole family will be there and a bunch of them I not fond of. Take the good with the bad I suppose.
Hope I get good stuff for presents.


GF's birthday is the 21st of the month too so I need to start thinking about what to buy her. She (of course) has givin me no indication of anything she wants.

Im accepting recomendations in the comments box if you guys have any idear of what would be good to get her.

So Im in a weight loss competition. A bunch of the overweight computer nerds in the building my desk is in are trying to sweat off as many pounds as possible. If your team wins you take home 80 bucks each. So this afternoon is weigh in and Im drinking my last pepsi and eating my last donuts for 45 days.

Preliminary wt. 216 lbs (Ill drink some water to boost this up before weigh in)